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I asked Louise Lloyd to write something for our readers about having an ethos – an approach to something, some mental or physically written down ideas of who you are, what your business represents and what your motivations are. Why? Because her website has just topped the 500 mark in terms of listings of baby signing classes from all sorts of independent and franchised baby signing classes all over the UK. It’s brilliant. And she’s about to get some national coverage that will direct people to the links to the classes and some people couldn’t work out why she’d be wanting to make sure that everyone was getting in on the opportunity. So this is her guest blog on the Baby Signing Mummy ethos:

Louise Lloyd aka the Baby Signing Mummy

Does your company have an ethos? When I first launched Baby Signing Mummy I was insistent on wanting an ethos that the business always stuck to. I have my principles and I love to be able to help others (a natural attribute that led me into the medical profession I am sure) so the ethos of Baby Signing Mummy was born.

The ethos of Baby Signing Mummy is to promote the wonders of baby sign language to all parents across the country and further afield. This means that we promote the use of any baby language no matter the company, no matter the signs that are used. I want as many parents and babies as possible to be able access classes, lessons and information on how to use baby sign language.

On our website we have a map of the world with classes entered from many different companies and allow parents to search for a class near them – if a parent finds a class from another provider and starts learning with them this is a success for Baby Signing Mummy – we have led that family into finding out more information and starting their baby signing journey.

When I first started out this ethos was questioned by others – why was I helping the competitors? I have several reasons for doing this; I am supporting other women in business, I am highlighting the importance of communication and interacting with your baby and I am getting the profile of baby sign language raised. I can only see that our ethos helps to increase our credibility as a company and I am so proud of being able to support all those other teachers out there, I really do feel like the Baby Signing Mummy ;)

Click the links for more information on Louise Lloyd and Baby Signing Mummy.

What is your Ethos? What guides you and your business?

Weston Communications is working with Daddynatal and Bump, Birth and Beyond to provide the full mix of Marketing, PR and Communications services. So far in 2011, Daddynatal and Bump, Birth and Beyond have become finalists in the What’s on 4 Awards, appeared on Baby Talk, Star 107.9, the Vanessa Show, the Daily Mail and several national radio stations. They are also now undertaking a pilot project for Peterborough and Stamford Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust.

Their portfolio of pregnancy classes & services and baby classes and services allow expectant parents and new parents and families to receive continuity of care from a company who treats clients as individuals and as a family, not just a customer. From maternity photography to birth doulas, daisy birthing classes to infant massage, daddynatal to toddler yoga; they enable families to get enjoyment from every stage of pregnancy and parenthood.

Daddynatal and Bump, Birth and Beyond currently provide classes in venues across Peterborough, Cambridgeshire and Northamptonshire to support families in having a confident, empowered and enjoyable experience into parenthood. To interview Dean, Steph or clients who have used Daddynatal and Bump, Birth and Beyond services, please contact Liz Weston and the Weston Communications Team on 01223 501520 / 07515 910231 or liz@westoncommunications.org.uk

We’ve had so many enquiries regarding Daddynatal and Bump, Birth and Beyond in the last two weeks that we are putting a list together of their recent media coverage for people looking to find out more about them.

Now really why are the 39 steps so important? Tauting itself as a modern guide for school leavers are we trying to teach our young the right needs for a modern society or are we being a bit pretentious? I really don’t think the 39 steps are the must know list and neither are the ones I can do appropropriate for the life I’ve grown into over 32 years. My ones mainly come from a mix of a university education, love of literature and things I’ve just picked up along the way.

The 39 steps are hideously out of date and although they are focused on a particular class of people they don’t really show any fun in life do they? Are they really life skills and should we just be keeping it simple?

I can so 11 of the steps in the article but to be honest none of those things make me a better, more knowledgeable person then someone who has less or more. Should we keep it simple with 5 simple steps to a better life?

1.      Giggle/Smile

2.      Make time for you and loved ones

3.      Support others

4.      Support yourself

5.      Work hard for the things you want

What would be on your steps for a better life?

I’ve started working with a life coach. I’ve started to notice since having my daughter that my concentration span is minimal and that I have become rather scatty.

Before having my daughter I was the organisational queen, Monica from friends wasn’t a patch on me, my OCD cleaning and my role as a Personal Assistant to a Head of Service within local government meant I was the ultra PA – I organised everything, even my knicker draw was laid out in a particular way and I’d organise husband’s draws too!

So when the offer came of working with a life coach in return for using me as a case study came along I jumped at the chance!

The first of my six fortnightly session was spent talking about where I thought I was going wrong. For me my organisational skills had disappeared. It took this person to show me what I already knew but also what I’d been missing.

My first task was to get diaries for different aspects of my life – family life/work life/business life  (I have my own business as well as having a 30 hour a week job). I was to give a set time to my own business in order to focus more clearly on each client, I was to put family appointments and diaries in order, I was to write a to do list everyday.

Now not all of this has worked but I’ve come to a happy inbetween to start with.

1) a family diary that has all birthdays/flat related items/important dates in

2) a rota for cleaning so that as a family we don’t waste a day tidying up at the weekend

3) A colour coded diary – so each area of my life has a colour and with my to do list I organise each day

Now – this has started to help, I feel I have more control and am starting to relax from the panicky state I got in if I didn’t do everything all at once. If something doesn’t get done it goes as a priority on the next day. I’m hoping to get to the stage where I’m not wading against a tide but am in fact focussed and more methodical. To be honest I’m starting to find it clearer now. Not so foggy and I can see the sunshine of my business blooming within this first two weeks.

The one I now need to plan out is my set times for business. This proves hard when I work with other people like me – mums who need to chat after the kids have gone to bed. Between 8 and 9pm is always the best time.

I’d love to hear suggestions on how you time manage and what tips you have!

Tonight it’s Earth Hour where many people will switch off their lights and other energy powered items to make a stand against climate change.

For our family we’ve decided to have an hour in candlelight with a board game. I’m hoping this will remind us that we can spend an hour without either the TV or the radio on. Just appreciating family life without any electrical distraction. The laptops will be switched off, the phones too. I wonder how long it will be before one of us caves to twitter?

In all seriousness though please get involved and do something for Earth Hour.

‘Earth Hour 2011 will take place on Saturday 26 March at 8.30PM (local time). This Earth Hour we want you to go beyond the hour, so after the lights go back on think about what else you can do to make a difference. Together our actions add up.’

What were you born to do?

What were you Born To do? The new campaign from Save the Children has not just caught my eye, it’s got into my head. Not least because I’m working for the PHG Foundation on the Born Healthy project, which is working in a very similar area.

But there’s another reason too. I’m trying to work out what my purpose is right now. DH and I are shattered, the boys are pooped and we’ve not got back into a routine since the Christmas holiday – and it’s March next week. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN????

So much good stuff has come our way since the start of 2011, but I don’t know, I’m just not sure what to do – I’m near capacity from a consulting perspective and that’s good, but it means I’m going to end up turning work away soon, which is something I don’t want to do.
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A big organisation is interested in outsourcing lots of their printed publications to Weston Communications. Another one is interested in bringing Weston Communications in to take their online and social media engagement  strategy  forward. And then there’s the New Baby Guides, and the Young Families Bump, Baby and Toddler Shows! As well as my usual smaller clients. Something’s got to give, but what? So going to the Born To bloggers conference today was the perfect opportunity for me to take some time out and think about it.

What was I Born To Do?

I’m using thinking about what I was Born To Do to help me focus on my life and where it’s going at the moment. I was born to be a mummy. Not just a mum, or parent, but a mummy. To me, I’m parenting when I’m teaching our boys how to do things, being a mum when I’m sorting out logistics for birthday parties and a mummy when I’m giggling with them when we read a book on the sofa, or letting them climb in our bed in the middle of then night. In ten years time, there won’t be much mummy stuff left that they want  from me, so I want to try and be as  much of a mummy as I can, right now, whilst it’s still wanted.
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But how do I do that whilst working full time? I don’t know if it’s possible, because I’ve been really struggling with it recently. Honestly, I don’t if it is possible….

Watching the videos today at Save the Children, I looked around at my fellow attendees and thought “Is anyone else finding this really hard?  Is anyone else on the verge of tears? Does anyone else want to stick their head in the sand and run away from this because it’s such a big thing – and I don’t  know how I can contribute to it?” I wore mascara today – so I didn’t sit there sobbing. But I wanted to. I had tears in my eyes. I felt so small, so inept, so, I  don’t  know, lost, I suppose. I felt so overwhelmed with thoughts of my family, the families I was watching, the families of the Save the Children staff who go into these countries to help people and children in need – and the families of the people who go to film, shoot and relay the situations back to us in real time.

It was upsetting. I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t. But what it has done, is give me hope. If #blogadesh can get a message to 10 million people about what’s happening in the world, if the Make Poverty History Campaign ensures that countries are relieved of their impossible to repay debt, and if Save the Children can get into stricken countries and set up safe play centres for children within hours, then I’ve got to be able to work out what I was Born To Do, haven’t I?

I wonder how I can be what I was Born To Do – be a mummy, a worker and someone who makes a difference. I’m going to keep working at it. Thank you #bornto and Save the Children for giving me insights into your campaign and the inspiration to keep working at what I was Born To Do.

Please comment below and tell me what you were Born To. And vist the Save the Children Born To site, so you can learn more about this brilliant, challenging, amazing opportunity we all have to contribute to making a positive change in our world…

I’m just thinking. I know, it’s a worrying thing, but I’m doing it nonetheless. That maybe I should stop blogging here. That I may run two blogs – one about more personal stuff and another, one here, for work things. Or maybe, perhaps, I should just stop blogging about life as a working mum and all  that entails – guilt, running late for everything and being stressed. What do you think?

I don’t know. I think my blog is a place to talk about all things working, mummy and parenting related – not least because I’m in the maternity, babies and family sector professionally. But then do people think that this is not the place to come for info, business stuff and maternity news?

Thoughts, opinions and contributions gratefully appreciated….

So apparently, there’s been a trial of a contraceptive injection that men can have every two months, and it’s worked well in a trial in Ediburgh. This is great news and a a significant advance in the contraceptive market.

But as a woman, I always wanted to know that I was in charge of my contraception, as it would be me that got pregnant and me that had to make decisions regarding keeping or terminating a pregnancy. I wouldn’t ever want to trust that to anyone else…

Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong. Too narrowly. Maybe I should look at it as being a good thing – so that by the time my boys are old enough to be sexually active, it’s something they could have, to help us avoid the issue of them getting someone pregnant. Doesn’t solve the STD issue though, but it’d be progress wouldn’t  it?

What do you think?

Would you be happy with your boyfriend, partner or husband having an injection every two months? Would you want to be there whilst they had it, to make sure it happened? or is that just me?

You know how everyone tells you their birth story on their child’s birthday? Not me, I’m going tell you something different, I’m going to tell you about the things that I’m grateful for surrounding the birth of my first son…

Overnight, four years ago today, I was being induced for the arrival of our first child. At 12 days over, and having requested inducement at 38 weeks, and the pessaries having not worked and having my waters broken not working either, I was *keen* to have my baby, however it happened. In my mind, that meant that I’d forgoe  the hypnobirthing birth I’d practised hard for, and have an epidural if needed.

Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be, as Elliott was breech. That means he was bottom first, rather than head first. The shift manager at the Rosie Maternity Unit in Cambridge was nice enough, when she was brought in by the midwife, and said “Yes. I’ll bet next months salary on that being a bum”…

Four years later, I can thank several people and organisations for  helping my husband and I to keep calm, whilst  people started flapping around us.

1. Selina, my midwife  and Gillian Pett – another local  midwife.
Selina was a smart, savvy midwife whose practical approach made me realise that although I thought I was unique, lots of people actually have babies all the time, and it’s a normal process.

Gillian Pett taught the NHS Antental Classes that we attended. She also took us on our tour of the Maternity Unit. She’s a no nonsense woman, but one who encouraged us to get the births we wanted. If the birthing pools were in use, don’t worry, go and run the bath, and use one of them. Just like you would at home. I loved her. And so did Richard. And when we were in the position of having people rushing  around us, we took  time to  remember what Gillian had said about caesarean sections, and how to make the most of the situation we found ourselves in… To not feel like we needed to make decisions to comply, but to take time to work out what we wanted. And to  make use of the facilities available – water and drugs….

2. Alison Marcus, my NCT Teacher.

I cannot put into words the impact that Alison had on my pregnancy and our early months as parents. If only we’d paid more attention when we covered c sections! Mind you none of us did, because we were all working towards a natural birth. Moving on… Alison taught us an acronym that I can’t remember now but it was all about asking what the options, alternatives, specifically what was happening, questions, time lines available and to ask with a smile. I can’t believe I can’t remember it, I’ll email her and ask. At the time, in labour due to the drip, with people rushing around us, we kept calm. Richard even asked everyone to go out and leave us alone to have  some thinking  time – another thing that Alison told us we could do.  They didn’t like it, but we took that time, and got ourselves together for the upcoming change in plan.

Postnatally, we  found that Alison’s experiences as a mum of four, meant that she’d taught us some important stuff. Like the fact that  it would be normal for Richard to come home and say “Really, you didn’t manage to go and buy milk today?” and that our baby would not be sleeping through the night by three months of age. And that you can do whatever you can to get through the nights and days without thinking that you are failing parents because you don’t do it the same as other people. I don’t know how she actually did that, but they are the things Richard and I remember.  Feeling more confident about becoming parents, that we weren’t on our own and that  the support was there for us. When Alison gave us her phone number at the end of the course, it went straight on our fridge as soon as we got home. Apparently it went on the fridge for the  rest of  our course  mates as well…..

So there we have it. I loved and still do love my NHS Midwives and my NCT antenatal teacher. We are eternally grateful  to them for the care and support they have given us. People are so quick to complain about NHS Midwives, but I can tell you that they do an amazing job with the resources they have. And that I’m privileged to have the opportunity to work with them on the New Baby Guides  and so  chuffed to  be  able to donate money to support staff training and  birthing aids for women in labour….  And as for people who join the NCT being tree hugging hippies, well I can tell you that I don’t know anyone who is a hippy, or hugs trees!! The people we’ve met have been smart, successful, non cliquey and we’re grateful to know them.

If you want to know more about the NCT, find classes in your area or local groups, check out the NCT website. You don’t have to be a member to attend the antenatal classes, or postnatal groups,  so just check them out and have a go. And if you get the chance to go to NHS Antenatal Classes, go to them and make the most of the opportunity….

Would it be ever so wrong to say that one of the things that motivates me is earning money? Lots of it? I suppose it depends what “lots of it” means to you, the reader. Would it be £100, £1,000 or £100,000 ?? I don’t even know what lots of it means to me, that’s something I need to think about…

“When people say money doesn’t make you happy”, I kind of get it. Because when I was single, and had plenty of money, I was sad that I’d not met someone to share my experiences with. Now that I have met the person who I want to share my experiences with for the rest of my life and we have two lovely, healthy, generally happy boys, I don’t have disposable income like I used to.

The reason why I don’t like that phrase is that I feel it’s implying that you have to not have money to be happy. I disagree. I don’t think it has to be a choice: earning lots of money OR being a good person, earning lots of money OR seeing your children, earning lots of money OR being a charitable/ethical/morally guided person.

I want to earn lots of money for lots of reasons. Here’s some that come to my mind as I’m writing:

1. To give us regular luxury holidays with nice swimming pools, lovely food and more milkshake than the boys could ever hope for?
2. To enable us to have a cleaner so that we don’t bicker over who does what at home, and so we can spend time together at night watching tv or playing scrabble without worrying about who will clean the toilets.
3. To go away for the night or out for dinner with my husband and not worry about the cost of it.
4. To be able to make donations to projects that I think will really make a difference in the world.
5. To give my parents the retirement they deserve to have.
6. To be able to treat me and my friends to attending a soft play session every so often, for all of our children AND have coffee and a cake there without people having to fret or feel guilty about spending money on it. One bite of cake and one slurp of coffee is better than none, surely?
7. To pay for one of my oldest friend’s cancer treatment that’s extending her life at the moment, so she doesn’t need to worry in case the trial ends and her drugs disappear with it. So her miracle baby daughter gets to have her for long enough to make her own memories of her, of her own.
8. So that next time we have an 11 week old baby who is poorly in hospital and we’re not near home, my DH can book a travel lodge and not sleep in the car, because he doesn’t want to “waste money on something he will only use for 6 hours”.

And now I’m crying. Because I really want to earn enough money to do be in a position to make 7 and 8 happen. So what motivates me? Making lots of money, lots and lots of it, to be able to do these things, safe in the knowledge that I’m a good enough person to use it to support others, as well as my own immediate family.

I don’t want to be ashamed of it any more. I want to earn money. Lots of it.

Shall I get off my soap box now? What do you want to earn money for? What do you want to do with it? Does that motivate you?
Would be lovely if I wasn’t left feeling like I’m out on a limb here! Here’s hoping you make some comments on this one…