Regular Guest Blogger Chelle McCann is back with tips to stay happy!

This week I have really been tested. With so many projects on the go this had to be the week where our little one was sent home from nursery with conjunctivitis and a chest infection. Already feeling like bad parents for not realising that it wasn’t just sleep in her eyes or just the usual teething cold myself and hubby got to see what stay at home parent life is like again.

Fizz was ill but hyperactic, two stressy parents with work to do too really did not help but later in the week I had the sense to stop everything and be a child again.

I watched This Morning who were doing a feel good section involving laughing therapy and Diva Dancing. It looked fab! So with baby wanting to shake her maracas we ran into her bedroom, danced around on the futon making loads of noise and jumping around finally giggling with an average age of ohhh 17 months fell onto a bed for cuddles. It was the most fun I have had in ages. I embraced motherhood again and vow not to be such a work junkie in the future.

So how do you stay silly/fun? How do you balance? Let me know as for me the jumping up and down and tickles with my daughter continue to ground me when I seem to be floating away!

Now really why are the 39 steps so important? Tauting itself as a modern guide for school leavers are we trying to teach our young the right needs for a modern society or are we being a bit pretentious? I really don’t think the 39 steps are the must know list and neither are the ones I can do appropropriate for the life I’ve grown into over 32 years. My ones mainly come from a mix of a university education, love of literature and things I’ve just picked up along the way.

The 39 steps are hideously out of date and although they are focused on a particular class of people they don’t really show any fun in life do they? Are they really life skills and should we just be keeping it simple?

I can so 11 of the steps in the article but to be honest none of those things make me a better, more knowledgeable person then someone who has less or more. Should we keep it simple with 5 simple steps to a better life?

1.      Giggle/Smile

2.      Make time for you and loved ones

3.      Support others

4.      Support yourself

5.      Work hard for the things you want

What would be on your steps for a better life?

I’ ve had two life coaching sessions so far and they gone really well. I thought it would be nice to share what I have learnt so far and whether it could help your life, family and business too.

1)It’s not about doing anything right or wrong – it’s about organising everything to make sure you can be more efficient and gain a good work life/balance

2) Sometimes the scales will tip from one side to the other. That’s ok but make sure you take control as soon as you or your family notice

3) Keep a diary for a week of all the things you do each day seperating each area of you life with colour. At the end of the week review how much you have achieved and whether you can be more focussed the following week

4) Prioritise per day. If you’ve only got 20 mins to spend on social networking make sure you maximise it. Use a mix of scheduled tweets and interacting. I remember that in 2010 @babysigningmummy gave herself a 20 minute allowance for twitter and facebook each day.

5) Life isn’t meant to be easy when you’re a working mummy so make sure you have time to have FUN. There is no better stress relief than rolling around like a child ;)

We’ve got a guest blog from one of our own clients today, Dean & Steph from Daddynatal and Bump, Birth & Beyond. They’ve had a brilliant week, going from teaching local classes, to national coverage via a TV appearance. I thought it would be really helpful for other people who have small businesses to hear that opportunities for national coverage are out there, if you’re prepared to work hard and make the most of the opportunities available….. 

While everyone else seems to be winding down for Easter things have never been busier at Bump Birth and Beyond Ltd. It has been a hectic week, but a very positive hectic week!

Our busy week kicked off on Saturday, listening to the first interview Dean had recorded for The Baby Show broadcast on Star Radio. The interview was focused on the role of the dad in pregnancy, and very exciting for us, as it was the first ‘official’ interview Dean had done, and it definitely was a great learning experience.

Then, Sunday saw us officially announce our partnership with Peterborough City Hospital at Peterborough Baby Show. Bump, Birth and Beyond are now running DaddyNatal and Active Birth Classes, on behalf of the hospital, free to parents. How fantastic to have a Head of Midwifery who is so forward thinking, she really is one of the first in the country to recognise that fathers/birth partners have huge antenatal education needs which have never (until now!) been met.

There was an excellent response to the news of the classes, with signups both on the day and since. Both courses are already 10% full, and we are still awaiting the formal press release and for the community midwifery team to start promotion yet!

Sunday also marked the completion of the first part of training for our new Daisy Birthing teacher, Alison. Courses have been so successful that Steph cannot keep up with demand on her own, so we are extremely excited about Alison’s arrival. She will commence teaching in June which will allow us to offer more courses in even more locations.

On Monday and Tuesday evenings, Steph was out teaching her regular Daisy Birthing classes in Peterborough and St Ives. Steph teaches classes to around 40 pregnant ladies a week, as well as managing all the bookings and day-to-day admin of the company. And she looks after our two toddlers full time as well!

Little did we realise what more the week still held in store… At 10pm Wednesday evening, Steph arrived home from yet another Daisy Birthing class to the news that Dean had been invited down the next day onto The Vanessa Show on Channel 5 to talk about fathers at birth. Turns out a producer had heard his interview on The Baby Show website and wanted him there for a discussion segment about birth! How could we refuse…?!

So scrapping all previous arrangements for Thursday, Dean travelled to London to record the show. To say he was nervous would be a major understatement! He was petrified to be doing his first TV appearance only a few days after his very first ever live media interview! But, of course, he was also really excited. The people were brilliant and he had the pleasure of meeting and talking to Pearl Lowe and Christina Hopkinson, as part of the segment on the discussion of fathers at birth. They were lovely and certainly put Dean at ease (although nerves kicked back in once the cameras started rolling!). You can see his appearance here and judge for yourselves how Dean got on at The Vanessa Show.

Feel free to comment as we would love to hear your feedback. It was a long day though – Dean left home at 11.30am, and didn’t get home again until 8.30pm (luckily Thursdays are Steph’s evening off!)

But there was still work to be done… Friday saw us at a meeting at Peterborough Hospital to discuss some of the logistics of our partnership, and then followed by an agreement that we would produce contact and reference packs for the community midwives, so that became our focus on Saturday!

However, the support and excitement of what we are doing, coming direct from the midwives is so refreshing. It really is a pleasure to be working with them all.

And finally, we finished the week on Sunday with one of our Couples Antenatal Workshops in Kettering. Our classes are jointly run between the both of us, to make sure that we cover all the essential points from both the mum and birth partner perspective. It was a really great class – we thoroughly enjoyed it, and then arrived home in time to spend the remainder of the afternoon in the garden with our two children.

So a busy week made busier by some unforeseen media appearances! A great experience though and we look forward to seeing what the next few weeks brings us.

So that was our hectic week how was yours?

After reading this story this week I have been thinking whether there is any right punishment?

The story is of a 15 year old being racially motivated to harm another human being – pushing a teenager holding a 7 month old baby into a bus lane. At first I looked at the story of a teenager pushing a child intentionally into a bus lane. Reading the piece again I notice that it was in fact an indirect attack with events happening before.

I think of me as a 14 year old girl and the pushing of each other into the main road while waiting for a bus home from school (obviously in my case this scuffles were between groups of friends and were not racially motivated).

At the moment we are teaching our ideas of right and wrong to our child without even knowing it or even enforcing it. To think of my daughter at 15 hurting a 7 month old baby or any other aged human being is incomprehensible to me. My beliefs though are introducing a a more holsitic approach to punishment, using descriptive methods to explain why certain actions should not be used. As a child of more physical punishment I am keen to encourage our daughters growth with explanation, example and description. However I understand that every child is different and other parents have other methods that work for them and thier child.

Some may be angry at the sentence of a year of empathy and anger management classes and the £50 fine -  custodial sentences are not an option for the under 16′s. I agree that the punishment seems minimal but thinking through it depends on the knowledge and depth of teaching the individual receives to re-educate them so that there is no chance of re offending again.

On the other hand I am left wondering how events led to this and what we can do as individuals….what are we teaching our children about the world to encourage such actions?

It makes me angry to think that there are still racist and violent people out there – those that have children and by no effort pass on their thoughts, morals and encourage actions without a thought of a consequence.

What are we teaching in our homes, within our friend and family circles and in our schools for the next generation to understand each other, other cultures, other areas of life that we should embrace and appreciate not disregard because they are not what we have previously experienced.  Just because our parents, grand parents and great grandparents were unaware this does not mean we should carry on the same.

I am lucky to live in a city that is so culturally diverse it’s excites me every day that Fizz will have a choice of so much to develop herself, her personality and her own beliefs.

Do you think this was the right punishment? How do you feel about this case? Is there ever a right punishment?

I’ve started working with a life coach. I’ve started to notice since having my daughter that my concentration span is minimal and that I have become rather scatty.

Before having my daughter I was the organisational queen, Monica from friends wasn’t a patch on me, my OCD cleaning and my role as a Personal Assistant to a Head of Service within local government meant I was the ultra PA – I organised everything, even my knicker draw was laid out in a particular way and I’d organise husband’s draws too!

So when the offer came of working with a life coach in return for using me as a case study came along I jumped at the chance!

The first of my six fortnightly session was spent talking about where I thought I was going wrong. For me my organisational skills had disappeared. It took this person to show me what I already knew but also what I’d been missing.

My first task was to get diaries for different aspects of my life – family life/work life/business life  (I have my own business as well as having a 30 hour a week job). I was to give a set time to my own business in order to focus more clearly on each client, I was to put family appointments and diaries in order, I was to write a to do list everyday.

Now not all of this has worked but I’ve come to a happy inbetween to start with.

1) a family diary that has all birthdays/flat related items/important dates in

2) a rota for cleaning so that as a family we don’t waste a day tidying up at the weekend

3) A colour coded diary – so each area of my life has a colour and with my to do list I organise each day

Now – this has started to help, I feel I have more control and am starting to relax from the panicky state I got in if I didn’t do everything all at once. If something doesn’t get done it goes as a priority on the next day. I’m hoping to get to the stage where I’m not wading against a tide but am in fact focussed and more methodical. To be honest I’m starting to find it clearer now. Not so foggy and I can see the sunshine of my business blooming within this first two weeks.

The one I now need to plan out is my set times for business. This proves hard when I work with other people like me – mums who need to chat after the kids have gone to bed. Between 8 and 9pm is always the best time.

I’d love to hear suggestions on how you time manage and what tips you have!

Tonight it’s Earth Hour where many people will switch off their lights and other energy powered items to make a stand against climate change.

For our family we’ve decided to have an hour in candlelight with a board game. I’m hoping this will remind us that we can spend an hour without either the TV or the radio on. Just appreciating family life without any electrical distraction. The laptops will be switched off, the phones too. I wonder how long it will be before one of us caves to twitter?

In all seriousness though please get involved and do something for Earth Hour.

‘Earth Hour 2011 will take place on Saturday 26 March at 8.30PM (local time). This Earth Hour we want you to go beyond the hour, so after the lights go back on think about what else you can do to make a difference. Together our actions add up.’

This coming week it is International Women’s Day and it is the centenary year.

Sometimes themes are selected to celebrate, sometimes not but each country hosts events to celebrate this day.

In 2011 the theme is Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women.I find it amazing that we even have to discuss that women may not have access to these things as I believe they are right of every woman, man and child.

It makes me very grateful for what I have had the opportunity to do. I went to School and University, a financial struggle for the latter but not a gender struggle. I have access to the technology I need to run a business, entertain me and interact.

Am I equal to a Man in the same area of work, maybe not but do I want to be? I am striving to be the best I can be myself whether my gender predetermines this or not surely that I am following my own path is what matters completely?

For other cultures, countries this may not be the same so I encourage you all to think about what equality means to you and how we can improve it for others.

What will you be doing on 8th March 2011?

Would it be ever so wrong to say that one of the things that motivates me is earning money? Lots of it? I suppose it depends what “lots of it” means to you, the reader. Would it be £100, £1,000 or £100,000 ?? I don’t even know what lots of it means to me, that’s something I need to think about…

“When people say money doesn’t make you happy”, I kind of get it. Because when I was single, and had plenty of money, I was sad that I’d not met someone to share my experiences with. Now that I have met the person who I want to share my experiences with for the rest of my life and we have two lovely, healthy, generally happy boys, I don’t have disposable income like I used to.

The reason why I don’t like that phrase is that I feel it’s implying that you have to not have money to be happy. I disagree. I don’t think it has to be a choice: earning lots of money OR being a good person, earning lots of money OR seeing your children, earning lots of money OR being a charitable/ethical/morally guided person.

I want to earn lots of money for lots of reasons. Here’s some that come to my mind as I’m writing:

1. To give us regular luxury holidays with nice swimming pools, lovely food and more milkshake than the boys could ever hope for?
2. To enable us to have a cleaner so that we don’t bicker over who does what at home, and so we can spend time together at night watching tv or playing scrabble without worrying about who will clean the toilets.
3. To go away for the night or out for dinner with my husband and not worry about the cost of it.
4. To be able to make donations to projects that I think will really make a difference in the world.
5. To give my parents the retirement they deserve to have.
6. To be able to treat me and my friends to attending a soft play session every so often, for all of our children AND have coffee and a cake there without people having to fret or feel guilty about spending money on it. One bite of cake and one slurp of coffee is better than none, surely?
7. To pay for one of my oldest friend’s cancer treatment that’s extending her life at the moment, so she doesn’t need to worry in case the trial ends and her drugs disappear with it. So her miracle baby daughter gets to have her for long enough to make her own memories of her, of her own.
8. So that next time we have an 11 week old baby who is poorly in hospital and we’re not near home, my DH can book a travel lodge and not sleep in the car, because he doesn’t want to “waste money on something he will only use for 6 hours”.

And now I’m crying. Because I really want to earn enough money to do be in a position to make 7 and 8 happen. So what motivates me? Making lots of money, lots and lots of it, to be able to do these things, safe in the knowledge that I’m a good enough person to use it to support others, as well as my own immediate family.

I don’t want to be ashamed of it any more. I want to earn money. Lots of it.

Shall I get off my soap box now? What do you want to earn money for? What do you want to do with it? Does that motivate you?
Would be lovely if I wasn’t left feeling like I’m out on a limb here! Here’s hoping you make some comments on this one…

Just for today…
I’m not going to beat myself up about the fact that when I do get around to cooking with my boys it’s a “add water” instant cookie mix..
I’m not going to check facebook every 10 minutes panicking because friends have not replied to my request for forgiveness for making a big mistake in repeating something that wasn’t true and causing tension…
I’m going to let the boys watch tv all afternoon long whilst I tidy our house and do some ironing….
I’m going to let the boys eat un cooked cookie mix whilst we wait for sausages to cook for lunch – it’s carbs and protein right? With a fruit smoothie for pudding….
I’m going to have dinner ready for my lovely husband who is out working hard, just like he does me nearly every day of the week now I work full time….

I’m going to give myself a break. I’m not a bad person. I make mistakes. And I apologise for them. What goes around comes around. Life is too short to not eat uncooked cookie mix so I’m going to give myself a break. What are you doing to give yourself a break today?