After reading this story this week I have been thinking whether there is any right punishment?

The story is of a 15 year old being racially motivated to harm another human being – pushing a teenager holding a 7 month old baby into a bus lane. At first I looked at the story of a teenager pushing a child intentionally into a bus lane. Reading the piece again I notice that it was in fact an indirect attack with events happening before.

I think of me as a 14 year old girl and the pushing of each other into the main road while waiting for a bus home from school (obviously in my case this scuffles were between groups of friends and were not racially motivated).

At the moment we are teaching our ideas of right and wrong to our child without even knowing it or even enforcing it. To think of my daughter at 15 hurting a 7 month old baby or any other aged human being is incomprehensible to me. My beliefs though are introducing a a more holsitic approach to punishment, using descriptive methods to explain why certain actions should not be used. As a child of more physical punishment I am keen to encourage our daughters growth with explanation, example and description. However I understand that every child is different and other parents have other methods that work for them and thier child.

Some may be angry at the sentence of a year of empathy and anger management classes and the £50 fine -  custodial sentences are not an option for the under 16′s. I agree that the punishment seems minimal but thinking through it depends on the knowledge and depth of teaching the individual receives to re-educate them so that there is no chance of re offending again.

On the other hand I am left wondering how events led to this and what we can do as individuals….what are we teaching our children about the world to encourage such actions?

It makes me angry to think that there are still racist and violent people out there – those that have children and by no effort pass on their thoughts, morals and encourage actions without a thought of a consequence.

What are we teaching in our homes, within our friend and family circles and in our schools for the next generation to understand each other, other cultures, other areas of life that we should embrace and appreciate not disregard because they are not what we have previously experienced.  Just because our parents, grand parents and great grandparents were unaware this does not mean we should carry on the same.

I am lucky to live in a city that is so culturally diverse it’s excites me every day that Fizz will have a choice of so much to develop herself, her personality and her own beliefs.

Do you think this was the right punishment? How do you feel about this case? Is there ever a right punishment?

Beautiful mum and her new baby

On the one hand, I think this story is quite funny, because I don’t know many people who would consciously try to get pregnant again within 6 months of a baby arriving… So there’s lots of “uh huh, not a problem here as we aren’t having sex” lines. But as people who wanted a small ish gap between children, it’s interesting reading to hear that the “risk of complications is higher among women who conceive another child soon after a birth”.

Dr Sarah Brewer has a book out, about pregnancy so I appreciate that she wants to make headlines and get media coverage. She reported that “women who conceive within six months of giving birth face a 60 per cent higher risk of delivering a low-birth-weight baby compared to women whose child was conceived between 18 and 34 months since last giving birth. Furthermore, the risk of premature birth in increased by as much as 40 per cent.”

The comments come after a recent study published in the journal Pediatrics found that children who are born after shorter intervals between pregnancies are at an increased risk of being autistic.

Dr Brewer advised: “In an ideal world, it’s best to recover from the rigours of pregnancy and childbirth. It takes at least nine months to build up nutritional status again, as pregnancy increases your requirements for vitamins A, B1, B2, C, D and folic acid.”

I’ve heard people talk about a window where ‘mother nature’ makes you not want to have sex, because it’s not good for you to be pregnant again quickly. I’ve also heard people talk about ‘mother nature’ kicking back in again when your baby is around 18 months old, as that’s when your body is ready to do it again. So this seemed quite interesting to me.

What do you think of it? What gap do you have between your children? Would you have the same gap again, or longer or shorter?

The original text can be found here:

Should babies watch TV?

This is interesting research. Apparently, we shouldn’t be letting our children watch TV until they are two years old.  There’s all the “isolated piece of research” stuff, which is valid and should be noted but, frankly, I’m getting a bit tired of all this. Surely most things are ok in moderation?

Elliott was 16 months old when he started watching TV regularly. Why? Because William arrived and I wanted him to be amused / distracted whilst I fed the newborn. Please don’t mention the box of special lego or drink/biscuit that only comes out when mummy is feeding the baby. That’s a 10 minute fix at best, not a 30 min fix, which the TV provides nicely.

I suppose I could have been more creative - how did people feed babies and amuse toddlers before the TV arrived? I don’t know. Answers on a postcard please. Elliott used to want to fiddle with William whilst he was feeding, so I couldn’t sit with the two of them…

I’m so grateful that I’ve moved on from a lot of my maternal guilt and feeling that I should do everything perfectly. Two years ago this sort of thing would have really affected  me. It even goes so far as to say that it’s not enough to be watching “educational” sesame street style programmes. So that’s my Mr Tumble argument out of the window then.

Don’t we have enough to be feeling confused about? Couldn’t they have found out what TV has a positive impact, so we can do more to help our children learn from it. Is it realistic to think that a child won’t watch TV before 2 years old? What is there that’s an absolute no go for you? 

I can’t think of much that is entirely a no go, other than the usual behaviour and personal safety stuff. Are there things that you won’t let your child watch / see / do because it’s not good for them? Do other people support you in that, or question it?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on it…

Colic. I don’t want to get into whether it exists or not, because I believe it does. And that some babies suffer with it more than others. Looking at images of babies crying to put into this post, I got choked up just thinking about the nights we had with both our boys where they were inconsolable…

Fox news has reported today on research in the Journal of Pediatrics which suggests that “that infants who took a daily drop of probiotic supplement cried one third less than babies who didn’t. Probiotics are healthy bacteria that help keep the intestines working properly. Dr. Joseph Levy says, ‘If there are less spasms and the muscles don’t contract so strong, the baby won’t feel pain. ‘Colic affects up to 28 percent of infants but doctors aren’t sure what causes it. When diagnosing the condition doctors refer to the rule of threes–crying for more than 3 hours .. At least three days a week .. For at least three weeks. Probiotic products for babies are already on the market but parents should check with their pediatrician before adding any to their child’s diet. Dr. Levy says, ‘not every probiotic is the same and not every baby that cries has colic.’

More studies need to be done before probiotics can be used to treat colic. And I’m not suggesting parents should put yakult into their babies by any means, but this sounds basically like common sense. And these days, with two toddlers under my belt, I’m all for the simplest approach to helping our babies, toddlers and children through whatever ailments they are suffering from.

At any rate, I’m pleased to hear that colic is being thought about by professionals, rather than suggesting it doesn’t exist. When Elliott was a baby I remember a midwife with 25 years experience telling me that infacol and other “remedies” have no scientific backing. I was disappointed to hear this as it came well recommended by others. She then went on to add that it is entirely possible that it’s having a positive effect because babies and parents feel like they are doing something to help themselves and each other through the misery of colic filled evenings. And that to me, is common sense again – the placebo effect yes, but if it’s making mummies, daddies and babies a little more able to cope together, I’m up for it.

What do you think of this research? Did your little people experience colic? How did you cope with it? What worked? What didn’t? Am sure there are people out there who would appreciate anything if they’re in the midst of dealing with it at the moment…..

Here’s a couple of links to other sites with suggestions for helping babies with colic:
Bupa suggestions for colic in babies
NHS Choices suggestions for colic in babies
Netdoctor suggestions for treating colic in babies