I’ ve had two life coaching sessions so far and they gone really well. I thought it would be nice to share what I have learnt so far and whether it could help your life, family and business too.

1)It’s not about doing anything right or wrong – it’s about organising everything to make sure you can be more efficient and gain a good work life/balance

2) Sometimes the scales will tip from one side to the other. That’s ok but make sure you take control as soon as you or your family notice

3) Keep a diary for a week of all the things you do each day seperating each area of you life with colour. At the end of the week review how much you have achieved and whether you can be more focussed the following week

4) Prioritise per day. If you’ve only got 20 mins to spend on social networking make sure you maximise it. Use a mix of scheduled tweets and interacting. I remember that in 2010 @babysigningmummy gave herself a 20 minute allowance for twitter and facebook each day.

5) Life isn’t meant to be easy when you’re a working mummy so make sure you have time to have FUN. There is no better stress relief than rolling around like a child ;)

I’ve started working with a life coach. I’ve started to notice since having my daughter that my concentration span is minimal and that I have become rather scatty.

Before having my daughter I was the organisational queen, Monica from friends wasn’t a patch on me, my OCD cleaning and my role as a Personal Assistant to a Head of Service within local government meant I was the ultra PA – I organised everything, even my knicker draw was laid out in a particular way and I’d organise husband’s draws too!

So when the offer came of working with a life coach in return for using me as a case study came along I jumped at the chance!

The first of my six fortnightly session was spent talking about where I thought I was going wrong. For me my organisational skills had disappeared. It took this person to show me what I already knew but also what I’d been missing.

My first task was to get diaries for different aspects of my life – family life/work life/business life  (I have my own business as well as having a 30 hour a week job). I was to give a set time to my own business in order to focus more clearly on each client, I was to put family appointments and diaries in order, I was to write a to do list everyday.

Now not all of this has worked but I’ve come to a happy inbetween to start with.

1) a family diary that has all birthdays/flat related items/important dates in

2) a rota for cleaning so that as a family we don’t waste a day tidying up at the weekend

3) A colour coded diary – so each area of my life has a colour and with my to do list I organise each day

Now – this has started to help, I feel I have more control and am starting to relax from the panicky state I got in if I didn’t do everything all at once. If something doesn’t get done it goes as a priority on the next day. I’m hoping to get to the stage where I’m not wading against a tide but am in fact focussed and more methodical. To be honest I’m starting to find it clearer now. Not so foggy and I can see the sunshine of my business blooming within this first two weeks.

The one I now need to plan out is my set times for business. This proves hard when I work with other people like me – mums who need to chat after the kids have gone to bed. Between 8 and 9pm is always the best time.

I’d love to hear suggestions on how you time manage and what tips you have!

Marmite. People love it or hate it. It’s important for lots of reasons. Here’s two that spring to mind:

1. Because someone is now making arty coasters of  jars of them that I’ve felt compelled to buy….
2. It’s given me food for thought. [no pun intended, I'm not that smart]

Marmite is important to businesses because it reflects lots of things, on lots of levels. There’s the obvious stuff here about how it’s a brand that’s endured. I don’t think it’s ever been trendy, despite the paddington bear tv campaign last year. That just made me think that it was old fashioned instead of being the retro de jour of choice. Then there’s the strength of the logo and it’s name - it does what it says on the tin. It’s not been re named as starbursts, has it… That’s another good thing about it.

But on another level altogether, it’s given me perspective on my work relationships. Here are some random thoughts on this:

- being self employed is great – it means that if I don’t get on with someone, share their views on things, or feel that their business is right for me to be working in/on, then I don’t have to take a job on. But that doesn’t mean that the business/person won’t be perfect for someone else. So when I have something like this come up, I’m going to pass them on to other people who may gel better with them. And to not panic when this happens – is it me? what’s wrong with me? will another job come along? what if I’ve made a BIG mistake here?

- people aren’t always going to like Weston Communications and how we do business. That’s ok, because you can’t please everyone in life. We ask everyone to pay for their advertising in full, in advance of a publication being printed. That’s who we are and what we do. We’re not interested in X who invoices you afterwards. We don’t think that’s the right way to go about business. Again, if that is what they need, it’s my job to help them find X who they will be able to work with. And to not take it personally when they do.

- sometimes, it’s ok to change your mind about something. I keep trying Marmite periodically – and when I was pregnant I remember wondering if I’d miraculously get into it. I didn’t. Lovely bloke thought the look on my face was priceless last time I tried it. But there’s no harm in trying, every so often. Tastes change, and that’s a good thing, to be embraced :)

- just because something isn’t for you, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it through other people. I can’t drink very often but I have had so much fun watching my friend AKT fall over when she does. It’s priceless. It’s great to see other people enjoying things, so look out for it, even if it’s not your “thing”. In fact, buy Marmite or whatever it is, for someone else to see them enjoy it. That’s a true mark of friendship. And a source of amusement for you ;)

So that’s that. I haven’t been able to articulate my thoughts on this as well as I wanted to. Basically, even though Marmite isn’t my kind of thing, it is comfort food / a store cupboard essential to many. And that’s cool with me.

What’s your “marmite”?

This coming week it is International Women’s Day and it is the centenary year.

Sometimes themes are selected to celebrate, sometimes not but each country hosts events to celebrate this day.

In 2011 the theme is Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women.I find it amazing that we even have to discuss that women may not have access to these things as I believe they are right of every woman, man and child.

It makes me very grateful for what I have had the opportunity to do. I went to School and University, a financial struggle for the latter but not a gender struggle. I have access to the technology I need to run a business, entertain me and interact.

Am I equal to a Man in the same area of work, maybe not but do I want to be? I am striving to be the best I can be myself whether my gender predetermines this or not surely that I am following my own path is what matters completely?

For other cultures, countries this may not be the same so I encourage you all to think about what equality means to you and how we can improve it for others.

What will you be doing on 8th March 2011?

Anyone seen this? *

Has anyone got any spare patience please? I’m so impatient for my meeting tomorrow afternoon that I won’t be able to sleep tonight. I am so impatient with my work  for the PHG and the Born Healthy project that I’m checking my emails constantly, waiting to work out how I can make next steps in progressing relationships and facilitating opportunities for the project. And I’m impatient with myself, for not being uber efficient enough so that I can make everything happen as quickly as I want it to.

This is why I’m self employed though, so I can have a range of different projects to work on and whilst something is fermenting away in for one client, I can be making progress for another one… So this makes me think that I’m best to remain self employed. Well, today’s thought is that I’m best to remain self employed….

What’s your list of the pro’s and con’s of  being self employed. This is my list of starters for 10….

Pros
I get to work in my PJ’s
I don’t have to wear make up to my desk
I have control over what I choose to do each day. ish…
I decide who I do or don’t want to work with

Cons
I don’t see many humans other than lovely bloke, E and W and that skewes my outlook somewhat
I don’t have anyone to blame if something doesn’t happen on time
I have the pressure of being the breadwinner and needing to make financially smart choices as to who I work with

Help me think of more for both lists please… See, I’m even impatient when it comes to these lists – I want to do it RIGHT NOW!! Look forward to hearing your thoughts on this one….

* Image courtesy of  www.psychologytoday.com

What were you born to do?

What were you Born To do? The new campaign from Save the Children has not just caught my eye, it’s got into my head. Not least because I’m working for the PHG Foundation on the Born Healthy project, which is working in a very similar area.

But there’s another reason too. I’m trying to work out what my purpose is right now. DH and I are shattered, the boys are pooped and we’ve not got back into a routine since the Christmas holiday – and it’s March next week. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN????

So much good stuff has come our way since the start of 2011, but I don’t know, I’m just not sure what to do – I’m near capacity from a consulting perspective and that’s good, but it means I’m going to end up turning work away soon, which is something I don’t want to do.
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A big organisation is interested in outsourcing lots of their printed publications to Weston Communications. Another one is interested in bringing Weston Communications in to take their online and social media engagement  strategy  forward. And then there’s the New Baby Guides, and the Young Families Bump, Baby and Toddler Shows! As well as my usual smaller clients. Something’s got to give, but what? So going to the Born To bloggers conference today was the perfect opportunity for me to take some time out and think about it.

What was I Born To Do?

I’m using thinking about what I was Born To Do to help me focus on my life and where it’s going at the moment. I was born to be a mummy. Not just a mum, or parent, but a mummy. To me, I’m parenting when I’m teaching our boys how to do things, being a mum when I’m sorting out logistics for birthday parties and a mummy when I’m giggling with them when we read a book on the sofa, or letting them climb in our bed in the middle of then night. In ten years time, there won’t be much mummy stuff left that they want  from me, so I want to try and be as  much of a mummy as I can, right now, whilst it’s still wanted.
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But how do I do that whilst working full time? I don’t know if it’s possible, because I’ve been really struggling with it recently. Honestly, I don’t if it is possible….

Watching the videos today at Save the Children, I looked around at my fellow attendees and thought “Is anyone else finding this really hard?  Is anyone else on the verge of tears? Does anyone else want to stick their head in the sand and run away from this because it’s such a big thing – and I don’t  know how I can contribute to it?” I wore mascara today – so I didn’t sit there sobbing. But I wanted to. I had tears in my eyes. I felt so small, so inept, so, I  don’t  know, lost, I suppose. I felt so overwhelmed with thoughts of my family, the families I was watching, the families of the Save the Children staff who go into these countries to help people and children in need – and the families of the people who go to film, shoot and relay the situations back to us in real time.

It was upsetting. I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t. But what it has done, is give me hope. If #blogadesh can get a message to 10 million people about what’s happening in the world, if the Make Poverty History Campaign ensures that countries are relieved of their impossible to repay debt, and if Save the Children can get into stricken countries and set up safe play centres for children within hours, then I’ve got to be able to work out what I was Born To Do, haven’t I?

I wonder how I can be what I was Born To Do – be a mummy, a worker and someone who makes a difference. I’m going to keep working at it. Thank you #bornto and Save the Children for giving me insights into your campaign and the inspiration to keep working at what I was Born To Do.

Please comment below and tell me what you were Born To. And vist the Save the Children Born To site, so you can learn more about this brilliant, challenging, amazing opportunity we all have to contribute to making a positive change in our world…

Today it was announced that This Morning had organised their maternity leave cover for Holly Willoughby. Two presenters from GMTV will be covering when the star goes on leave to have and spend time with her daughter in May this year. Three months in advance.

This got me thinking about my own maternity leave cover when I had my daughter and how easy I had it that it was left for me to arrange, well no one else wanted to do it. No one else had the time. I wanted to ensure a good cover so I had a smooth return.

It got pretty near to my leave date when I realised that no one was going to organise cover for my role and I did it myself. Office restructure talk and my former boss leaving had taken it’s toll on all around me leaving me in a state of uncertainty surrounding my cover.

In the end I approached an agency we had used before myself and nagged a manager in the team to interview with me. I was very conscious that my role should be well covered as I dealt with high level meetings, reports and complaints.

I coerced this manager to interview a candidate he had passed on but my gut instinct had told me she was the right person for my job and it felt good to have put someone in my place that could learn as well as manage. She was similar to me when I had first started office based work, a graduate with no on the job experience but plenty of enthusiam.

So what’s the crux of this blog?

No one knows but the person doing the job who is best to cover them? Maybe. But they should be able to leave a job safe in the knowledge that it is well looked after.

The person doing the job really should have chilled out more and enjoyed the end of pregnancy? Possibly.

Employers should be more aware of what they need Maternity Leave Cover (it’s not just keeping a seat warm for a year) and the implications cover can have on a mummy returning to work. Definately.

(more…)

WARNING: Whinge fest below….

I hate feeling nerrr. Although, Kate and William getting engaged has been a good distraction for me today.

Feeling down in the dumps today :(

I hate post event anti climax. Mind you, the Hertfordshire Bump, Baby and Toddler Show was a good un, so if I’m being balanced about it, there’s bound to be a fair bit of post event down in the dump ness to be had from it. Why is it, that even when I do things well, I beat myself up. 750 visitors = good result, but no, I’m all “oooh, I wanted 1,000″…  At least I’m not tweeting saying I had “1,400 through the door and 72 exhibitors”, when I actually got less than half of that and it’s obvious to exhibitors and visitors. That would be a v bad thing to do wouldn’t it????  <that’s a nudge to a show organiser who’s making the rest of us look bad right now>….

I hate my negative side. It’s silly. I shouldn’t pay any attention to it. 

This morning, a client told me they were unhappy with a comment I made recently. So I apologised, said I wouldn’t comment on it again, and that was that. Or so I thought. Because obviously it’s not, and now I’m left thinking that perhaps they shouldn’t have “assumed that I’d know what they wanted me to say”. There’s the factual truth and then another kind of “truth”, isn’t there? I’m still learning with the latter. Perhaps I should have asked “what do you want me to say when someone asks XXX, that’s  not the truth, but what you want me to tell people instead”… Is that what PR and marketing support really is?

And then a different client told me they didn’t need me to do something for them any more today, which is good, because it means that they’ve taken it on, realised the value of it, and are doing it for themselves. But I felt sad, as it meant my job was done, and I like doing work for them.

Nothing in life is permanent is it? The sooner I realise that, the better, because then I won’t be sad when things do turn out to be temporary.

And there’s a charity thing coming up, where I’ve decided I won’t just give  myself,  my contacts, and my time  for nothing.  That  if it’s so valuable to them, it can be paid for.  But  am procrastinating about  it and where to go with telling the Charity that I want to be paid, rather than just being a volunteer. Although there can’t be anyone who likes to have those conversations can there?

Dooby dooby down down. I can’t even be bothered to write  a proper post. I’m feeling very self indulgent. Talked to a friend today. She said that perhaps I should just take a couple of weeks off. Literally. To get my house tidied, xmas cards done, and get myself  back on track. Maybe I will. Liz Fraser, Author of the Yummy Mummy Survival Guide, and tv presenter is a creative type, and she disappears off radar sometimes. Then she comes back onto the scene. And does good stuff.

I’m going off to help with bedtime, and then watch the Kate and William interview at 7pm. Here’s hoping for a perkier day tomorrow. And people telling me nice stuff, rather than complaining to me about stuff that’s outside of my remit.

Over n out.

This is a guest blog from Jo Montogmery. We know Jo as she taught our first born to swim when he was a tiddler. We were emailing about  recent comments from Kirstie Allsop, where Kirstie said:

“‘Look, you cannot be a person like me who is vocal about family life, and then not be honest about how my life is much easier in some ways because I have this help. You are not going to be doing it all single-handedly. And you’re not doing the rest of the female population any favours if you say you are.”

We were emailing about what we thought of her being upfront about this and how it reflected on women in general. It’s really fired something up in Jo, so here she is, with a few thoughts on it:

I think it’s great that people like Kirstie Allsopp and Nigella Lawson are speaking out about the help they receive. There is enough pressure on women these days to do it all, without thinking we have to be domestic goddesses too. Unfortunately, some of these pressures come from within and I’m my own worst enemy sometimes with insisting our food is all home made and I can cope all by myself. I think we should take stock, however. This is not necessarily the right way to do things. Our children only need us for a short time. We have all our lives to work. It’s important to find a balance that we’re happy with for ourselves and our families. My compromise is a home that looks “lived -in” rather than spotless.

For me, it was important to stay home with my children when they were very small. This brings with it the usual feelings of unworth and not contributing to society, when in reality shaping the next generation is perhaps the most important job in the world. Before I had children I was an academic research scientist with a PhD. Afterwards I was just another struggling Mum battling sleep deprivation and often isolation. As many people find these days, I don’t live near family so there’s not so much help and I found the lack of someone to just pop in for a cup of tea in those early days made the 10-12 hours my husband is out of the house seem like an eternity. Trust me, staying home is not the easy option! 

When my eldest child was 2, I went to work one day a week (and went back to this when my youngest was just a year old). It wasn’t much, but it helped financially and my children were with their grandparents who would spend 4 hours in the car to come and look after them! When the youngest was nearly two (5 years out of my previous life), my brain started to call out for more stimulation. I became a school governor and I retrained as a baby swimming teacher. I fitted my teaching into saturdays when the girls could be with their father and one or two mornings a week when the youngest was at pre-school or with me in the pool and the oldest at school. I also started volunteering as a STEM Ambassador – a government backed scheme to get real life scientists into schools to inspire and encourage children to enjoy science.

As the time went on, I found that although it was immensely rewarding, the swimming was not enough to satisfy my brain’s need for constant learning and as many people with children find, the world of education was beckoning. As the daughter of two teachers, however, a conventional teaching career was not for me. I did more and more volunteering in schools throughout Cambridgeshire and am a very hands-on governor in my children’s school. You can call it luck, or fortuitous, or just hard work that I had been reshaping my skills whilst my children were small, but when my baby started school in September 2009, I also went back to work proper. I am now responsible for a team of scientists who give up their time to be STEM Ambassadors. I work for a forward-thinking pharmaceutical company who think caring about people matters. It fits with what I do, but I had to negotiate a part-time, term-time contract. This means I work school hours, term-time only. I pick my children up from school and I have the holidays off with them. They don’t notice any difference but I still have a great career. It’s a win-win situation. I work 25 hours a week. It would probably be easier for me to get everything done if I worked 3 long days and had two days off to sort out the washing, cleaning, shopping etc (and maybe even had some time for me), but that would mean my children being in childcare 3 days a week after long days at school. This way they benefit more and I get to take them to after school activities, bake cakes, help with their homework and have fun. Nobody wishes they spent more time doing the hoovering! My dog is also happier this way – he’s not left alone too long and I can walk him to school to pick up the children. Yes, it makes for a busy life, but I think I’ve got a pretty good balance!

My tips – to myself as well as to other Mums as I don’t always manage them:
 - plan and order the shopping on-line;
- do batch cooking more (I try to have a shepherd’s pie or similar in the freezer for the days when we have swimming after school and come back late)
- have a cleaner. I would love a cleaner. A high flying professional friend of mine was once told on a time management course that although women are great at delegating in the board room, they are still rubbish at delegating at home. Get a cleaner! Unfortunately, a good cleaner is a difficult thing to find…

What about when it doesn’t go to plan? If a child is sick, my husband and I play the familiar game of who’s got the most expendable day? Or maybe we’ll do half each. At the end of the day though, my children always come first. Occasionally, I will have to work later. As it’s only perhaps once a month, I employ a range of options – the children may go and play with friends (and I can then reciprocate on another day), my husband may finish work early or my Parents may even travel to pick them up from school. Sometimes they will go to after-school club which is fun every once in a while. My in-laws have even been known to come down from Scotland. There’s always a way!

Phew. I don’t know think I could manage what she is doing. It sounds she never stops working and I could only sustain it for 18 months before it became too much for me. What do you think of Jo’s work and home life? Is she having it all? How do you feel about it? Do you think she’s got a lot on her plate at the moment? 

What do you think of Kirstie’s help? How does it make you think about the whole working mums thing?